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Asian Women

The most common fetish is sexual fetishism- it is defined as an intense focus on an inanimate object or body part that creates arousal.  Examples of sexual fetishes include body piercings, feet, leather, hair, and shoes.  However, in recent years, a new fetish has developed in our society: the Asian fetish.  Asian is a race, an ethnicity, not an inanimate object or body part.  Yet, Asians have because a popular fetish among men and women of all ages.  Once a race, like African, Italian, Mexican, French, etc., but now a target of sexual objectification.

There is a debate on whether or not white men being attracted to Asian women is considered a “fetish” or a “preference.”  Some argue that the attraction to Asian women is just a man’s preference, similar to when men are attracted to blondes.  … But the thing is… race is not the same as hair color.  A race, an ethnicity, defines a part of who people are- it’s not just a simple classification.  The “preference” argument may be an excuse because men do not want to face the fact that they are sexually objectifying a specific race of women.  Asian women, compared to women of other races, are generally more petite, polite, soft-spoken, and obedient… but this is the Asian culture.  Also, Asian women in the modern world are changing and growing out of the stereotypical type.Jolin Tsai

Some white men are very outspoken and say that they are attracted to the exoticism of Asian women.  What it is exactly that attracts men to Asian women?  I honestly do not know- “exotic” can be defined in numerous ways and I’m not exactly sure what men mean when they say that Asian women are exotic.  Is it because Asian women mostly stick with Asian men making them harder to get?  Maybe.  Is it because Asian women are “submissive” to their men like slaves?  Maybe.  At some point, this conversation always starts to get awkward and weird… yet the yellow fever continues to grow.

So… white men have made their case- they think Asian women are beautiful, sexy, and exotic.  What do Asian women think?  Well, I think Asian women are split 50/50.  About half of the women love it because the men treat them better, they have more options, and they get a lot of attention.  The other half either don’t care or hate it.  Personally, I’ve never heard of any Asian women complain about the Asian fetish with a strong passion… but I have heard of women who simply don’t care.  I think it’s a case by case judgement.  I trust that there are some men out there with Asian fetishes who are a little bit overly obsessed and need someone to slap some sense into them… and that there are other men who just treat Asian women as they would treat any other women.  Is fetishizing Asian women a terrible thing in my opinion?  No- a little weird though.  The only aspect that balances this fetish is the fact that there are interracial relationships between Asian women and white men that have been successful and not based on the men having Asian fetishes.  It gets a little hard to distinguish nowadays because there is a pool of men interested in Asian women and some of those men have yellow fever while some of those men are genuinely attracted to Asian women as they are to any women of another race.  And it’s unfair to generalize in either direction…

Fumina HaraMedia has also contributed to the exoticism of Asian women.  Let’s face it- even in our globalized world today, Eastern and Western worlds are still very separate and distinct.  With that said, films, ads, and photos from the Eastern world are still fairly foreign and rare in the Western world, contributing to the mystery and exoticism of Asian women.  Even though Asian models, singers, and actresses are displayed in the media very “normally” (normally in the sense that other entertainers from the Western world would do similar things in the media), the fact that these women are Asian makes them different.  For example, the cuteness factor in Asia is seen differently by Westerners.  Women in Asia like to be cute- simple as that.  In Japan, many girls dress in costume for fun and cuteness-sake.  However, this depiction of women makes them a sexual fantasy object to Western men.  There is just a different context of “cosplay” and so Western men find this to be more sexual than Asians would.  Also, Asian women have photo shoots in bathing suits and even in regular clothes… but they are seen as more sexy and exotic because of the Asian body shape.  Such depictions of Asian women in the Asian market make it to the hands of Western men and ultimately lead to false impressions of Asian women… some of these incorrect impressions lead to fantasies and such.  And so I do think media has quite a bit of influence on the growing yellow fever.

Zhang Ziyi and Han Chae YoungNo matter how many people voice the weirdness of this Asian fetish… white men seem to continue to pursue this… fetish… quite passionately too.  And the numbers are growing!  To be honest, I still do not really understand this obsession with Asian women.  About 2 months ago, I watched Debbie Lum’s Seeking Asian Female at the SD Asian Film Festival and received some insight from the director, Debbie, and Steven and Sandy, a real life “fetish couple,” as I like to put it.  Steven stated in the film that he wanted an Asian wife because he saw how happy his son was with his Asian wife and he wanted the same happy life… I… don’t really buy that answer.  I think he wanted something new and exciting in his life… and the new, exciting thing would be an Asian lady to play out his fantasies.  In fact, I’m sure most of the men who have yellow fever right now are just looking for something exciting in a relationship.  I hate to break it to these guys, but Asian women are just women.  We’re really no different than women of other races.  We have really polite and mannered girls AND we also have rude and obnoxious girls.  It is unfair to generalize all Asian women as petite, quiet, obedient, little women.  Another note is that we don’t all have exotic almond shaped eyes and long, straight black hair.  I understand that in a lot of guys’ minds, women with long, straight hair are so sexy and beautiful… but remember that it can be a terrifying thing too.  I’ve watched enough Asian horror movies to tell you that hair can be scary as hell!  Let me know if you find “The Ring” girl sexy and exotic… she’s Asian, has small eyes (kind of…), is petite, has long, straight black hair, and is very quiet!  Asian fetish lovers may also take an interest in Asami from Miike’s film, Audition.

Jun Ji Hyun

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My most recent addiction is online shopping.  This all started 2 months ago when my sister and I were looking at shoes on YesWalker.  There, I found the perfect pumps, ordered them, and am now in love with those shoes~

Now, I’ve been eyeing YesStyle items for awhile now, but I never actually looked into them… If you don’t know what YesStyle is, it is an Asian online retailer that sells everything from jewelry to clothes.  I like this site because the apparel is tailored to Asian tastes in style.  Any way, a couple of weeks ago, I was bored and so I decided to look around on the site- boy that was a bad idea (well, really, a FANTASTIC IDEA).  I found so much stuff that I liked that my shopping bag totaled the thousands… It took a few weeks for me to narrow down everything to a reasonable price (by then, some of the sale prices were no longer applicable… but it was okay, the items were replaced with deals of the week clothes!).  

So I finally had a shopping bag that was decently priced for the items that I was getting AND I was extremely satisfied with the final items I chose.  I ended up getting 5 items of clothing, and my sister got 3 items, and the total of all 8 items was under $200.  Plus, since the total was over $150, there is free shipping! 🙂

I am so excited that I cannot wait to receive these items in the mail~  Check it out:

1. Dual-Pocket Long Sleeve Cardigan

2. Pink Chiffon-Hem Tunic

3. Fleece-Line Logo Print Pullover

4. Turtleneck Striped-Panel Pleated Dress

5. Cotton Blend Pullover

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I’ve always seen shows like Law & Order: SVU, or news reports that showcase the vulnerability of women to society.  And for some reason, I always thought I was not vulnerable like these women.  However, we all are subject to the evils of society, no matter our gender, race, religion, etc.

Yesterday, I got to work half an hour early, so I decided to relax on a bench nearby.  The weather was nice and the air was refreshing.  A few minutes in, a passerby came across my path and we exchanged a courteous hello.  However, this passerby continued to talk to me afterwards, inquiring me about whether I was Chinese or not, what I was doing in the area, what school I go to, where I am from, etc, etc.  I felt a little strange talking to this man, but for some reason, I didn’t listen to my gut instinct.  He kept holding me in a conversation and at some point, I started to feel weird and wanted to walk away.  I think he noticed it and asked me when I took my lunch break so that we could have lunch together.  I didn’t want to talk to him anymore, so I told him I didn’t know and started to get up.  And so he asked me for my number afterwards… I told him that I don’t give out my number and he said “That’s fine, I totally understand… a woman by yourself… a little scared sometimes.”  As I got my stuff together, he commented on how pretty my dress was and forced his business card on me and told me to call him anytime.

There are no words to describe how scared I was.  He was a 40-something year old Hispanic man asking me for my number and commenting on my dress… that was when I knew something was really, really wrong and I needed to go.  I was afraid that he was going to find me during the lunch hours so I did not even leave the building for my entire work day.  And it just so happened that I got out of work late yesterday… so when I was leaving, there were no people around and it was semi-dark.  There was this uncomfortable feeling in my body that I had as I walked to the bus stop alone.  I felt like I was being watched… that someone was tracing my steps.  I even took a different path out of the building to get to the bus stop… but that didn’t seem to ease my nerves too much.  When I got to the bus stop, I found out that the next bus wasn’t coming til half an hour later and I just felt so weird sitting there by myself.  Every person who walked by made me nervous.  And so I had my mom on the phone with me all the way home… It was too weird yesterday…

The only other time I had a weird experience was roughly two years ago when I was in Flushing with my mom looking at DVDs to buy when an old Hispanic man grabbed my butt.  Since it was Flushing, it was packed with people and suddenly I felt a hand rubbing my butt cheek and I turned around and the Hispanic guy smiled and immediately walked away.  After this experience, I became afraid of closeness.  I’m still scared of people getting really close to me, especially strangers in large crowds of people.

As the fear started to grow as I was talking to the Hispanic guy in the park, I was reminded of the old Hispanic man who grabbed my butt.  There’s really no way to describe the strangeness of everything without being the person in the situation.

For the past couple of weeks, I would sit on the bench outside to clear my mind of stress before I went in to work.  Now, I’m afraid I can’t do that anymore.  It’s not even like I have someone to walk to or leave work with.  I’d feel safer if I had someone beside me.  Honestly, it’s too dangerous these days for young women to walk the streets by themselves.  I didn’t realize how scary it can be… even during the day.

It will probably take me a few weeks to get over this.  Well, I really don’t know how long it will take.  I just hope that I will never see this man again.  For the next few weeks though, I will be paranoid- I just know it.  I’m afraid of him getting there early to watch when I arrive, to watch where I go, to watch what I do, to watch me.  I only feel safe when I am in the office because I know that he cannot get past the receptionist.  It’s just… when I arrive to work, leave for lunch break, and leave work.

I am saddened by the fact that we basically have to close ourselves off from the world, from each other.  In order to be safe and protect ourselves, we have to isolate ourselves.

What has lowered the bar in our society, among our people?

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