Archive for November 29th, 2012


Picture the one person in the world you really wish were reading your blog. Write her or him a letter.


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I fall in love every day. 

In the midst of my busy life, I fall in love every day… with strangers, with familiar faces, with someone.  It’s a strange concept and I’m not sure I even fully understand it myself, but it’s such a wonderful thing.

Whether I am walking down the street, sitting on the bus, or buying groceries, someone always catches my eye and I find myself falling in love with their smile, their act of generosity, their words of wisdom, or whatever it is about them.

I’ve thought about this over and over again- is it possible to fall in love this easily and so often?  Well, there are 3 different kinds of love according to the Greeks: eros, philos, and agape.

Eros is defined as “erotic love”- I like to call it selfish love… simply because this type of love is based on strong physical attraction.  So… really it’s just a physical desire to have someone to satisfy YOUR needs.

Philos is love between friends and family.  It’s more of a mutual love and the love has more substance than eros…

Agape is unconditional love, a selfless kind of love.  I first heard of this term in my 10th grade English class, where we used “agape” to describe the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine (their relationship was just strange if you ask me…).  I guess agape is also the love used in most dramas, particularly Korean ones.

I think these 3 classifications do a good job of summarizing the types of love possible- I mean, these 3 are pretty broad so they pretty much cover it all.  By process of elimination… I know I’m definitely NOT feeling agape love every day.  However, I cannot distinguish whether or not I am feeling eros or philos- perhaps a mix of both?  I do not like to think that I am selfishly loving these strangers every day- I am simply standing afar fascinated by some aspect of them.  At the same time, I do not like the term mutual love either… I may be admiring them from afar but that does not signify reciprocation.

So then… what is it that I feel?  Can it even be called “love”?  I think I may have to add a new category of love to these 3- something that describes this sense of loving someone for who they are.  No… scratch that… I don’t know some of these people, so I can’t say I love them for who they are, right?

Category or not, love is love.  Every day, I know I fall in love, sometimes with someone new, and sometimes with the same person.  Now, don’t get me wrong, love is still complicated- definitely not as simple as sitting on the bus and falling in love with the person sitting in front of you.  Rather, it’s a little bit painful, even with strangers.  Love hurts.  And… watching at a distance wondering if I will ever see that person again or get a chance to know that person is a bit of a struggle every day.

I first contemplated this concept when I was in Seoul.  Seoul mainly runs on public transportation so I was on public transport almost 24/7.  I saw, met, spoke to many different strangers every day.  And sometimes, I got the feeling that I fell in love with them- but it was weird because I barely knew them.  But, there was always something about each person that attracted me to them.  I realized that I had been this way for a long time… and even now, I think I am this way too.  I still puzzle myself sometimes… even surprise myself at times.

Love is a good thing for us mentally and physically.  Loving openly is an even better thing.  Why hide our love when we have so much of it to give?

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