Archive for November 9th, 2012

Do not chase people.  Be you and do your own thing and work hard.  The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.

This has been the first thing I’ve understood in a long time- 我终于想明白了.  There is no point in getting frustrated all the time, it’s just too tiring and frankly, I do not have the time or energy to put up with it any longer.  I need to start caring less.

It seems that the more I care, the more stress I put on myself.  And these people do not even care back… so why should I waste my time caring for them?  I always knew that it was better to just be independent, but for some reason, I always tried to surround myself with people so that I wouldn’t feel isolated and lonely.  Screw that.  What is the point of having “friends” that aren’t even “friends”???  How could I be so dumb for so long?

I didn’t learn my lesson the first couple of times, rather I continued to be dumb and repeat my mistakes.  Such a shame that I wasted my time being a fool for so long.  From now on, it’s just going to be me, myself, and I.  The right people will come into my life and stay- I don’t need to search for people and hold on to them thinking that they are supposed to be in my life.  The fact is… they may not be the right people… so they should get out of it sooner than later.

Being completely independent is a hard thing.  We all don’t realize how hard it is to do unless we are forced to be in this position.  I’m going to take it step by step- because I know this is what I have to do in order to keep my sanity.  I’ve been trying to be patient for awhile now… but I can’t hold it in anymore- I HATE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME RIGHT NOW.  This school year has just gotten progressively worse and I find myself hating the people I hang out with more and more.  Perhaps it is just the fact that I’m getting to know them better… but all the same, I don’t like these people.  They’re obviously not the right people and I kind of just want them to leave- there’s always something new that they do that I just can’t stand.  And what I can’t stand the most from them is that they’re not genuine friends.  “Genuine friends” can be interpreted in a variety of ways, and interpret it any way that you want, but in my mind, a genuine friend is someone who is always on my side, someone who cares and will help me if I need it, someone who doesn’t ditch me for other people.  That’s not too much to ask for… really… And to be honest, I’ve only met one, ONE person so far in my life who has been a genuine friend to me.  Shows what kind of society we live in today…

And so… whatever.  I’ve lost the willpower to care.  Do whatever makes you guys happy- I COULD CARE LESS~~  Don’t expect anything from me, don’t judge me, don’t talk about me behind my back- just remember that YOU GUYS made me this way… YOU GUYS are the reason why I decided to not care.

I am not your friend, and you are not my friend.  朋友分分鐘都會改變.

I live for me.  I’ve been doing my own thing and I will continue to do my own thing.  The right people will come whenever the time is right… and they will stay, they will be genuine, they will be true friends.

Every day is a struggle, a fight, but life is life.

“Live and let live.”

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